I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
