Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I came so hard my ears popped.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
