am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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