I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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