life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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