Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
