David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
