he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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