oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
