ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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