You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
