I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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