Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize