i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
