if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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