idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
