Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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