Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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