the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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