There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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