i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
