I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
