i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
