How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
