just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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