I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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