There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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