my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
