dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
