Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You have to summon your inner elephant
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
