How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
