My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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