But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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