If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
