I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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