Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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