i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My vagina is very pro this idea
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