I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
