Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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