I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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