apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
