Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
