Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
