Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
