Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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