..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
