so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
