im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is wine microwaveable?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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