I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
