It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
