u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize