So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
