I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
