A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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