My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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