I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
